#2 R*nning of TWAT is done!

Or:
The Hash that almost didn't happen!
Or:
How Cuntographer f*cked everything up and still didn't snared!
Or:
Why TWAT has so much fun!
Or:
(Insert title here)

Well, it sure was an interesting hash this week! The Hare, Cuntographer, ran into a few "issues" while trying to get to the start. While going to drop off the first beer check, his car ran out of gas (he blames the gas gauge). Then, while dropping off a cooler at the finish, he locked his keys in the car (he blames the door locks). To add insult to injury, while attempting to extricate his keys from his camel back sitting on the center console, the other hashers called him repeatedly. He is quoted as saying "That isn't f*cking helping!" while it rang and his coat hanger dangled mere millimeters from the keys.
Luckily, the Hare was able to squeeze the camel back through the window and pull the key out and unlock the doors at the same time as Cum So Hard Me Die shows up to check on him, 10 minutes after start was to happen.
Arriving at the start (15 minutes late), the Hare gave a quick Chalk Talk, a poor Hash Shit demonstration, and took off r*nning.
Would this be the end of the bad luck for the hare? Not hardly!
While laying trail , the intrepid Hare navigated his way along the Tanque Verde Wash. Switching directions, he attempted to climb up the side, only lose his footing and perform a tuck and roll in the sand! Standing up, the hare took inventory. Arms move, legs move, package undamaged, flour . . . in the sand!
The Wanker had spilled most of his flour into the earth! Scooping up what he could, the Hare took off down the Wash laying trail until the bag was empty, still over half a mile from the beer check. So, as any great Hare would do, he ran to the beer check (where spare flour had been placed) and ran BACK to the spot of last powder, laying trail in reverse as he went. Approaching the last powder, whistles were heard and Hashers were seen! The Hare waved, taunting the Hashers, threw flour into the air, and retreated along his trail.
Of course, the Hare may be clumsy, forgetful, and quite handsome, but he is no fool! So, he jumped up out of the sandy wash and ran along the hard ground out of sight of the pack as the Hashers sloshed through sand following trail! Luckily, trail was laid well enough that all the Hashers reached the first beer check without further incident.
Once everyone had a chance to choose a libation, the Hare pulled aside the Turkeys and explained the next portion of the trail.
I believe it sounded like this:
"My co-hare pussied out on me, so instead of laying trail for Turkeys, I have to explain trail. F*cking wanker."
Explaining trail, he key instruction was "if I timed this right, you will follow the street and come across a check. Then you join trail with the Eagles."
So, Cuntographer took off from the beer check, fresh flour in his bag and cold beer in his belly. The most important part was to come. As he laid trail along Tanque Verde Creek Bridge, that wiley hare decided to stop in the middle of the bridge, place a check, and climb down a tree touching the bridge!! So down went the hare, leaving powder as he did. After climbing three stories down, he ran off to lay trail and place the check for the turkeys.
Remember the part about the Hare saying "If I timed this right. . ."? When he didn't. Instead of showing up right in front of the Turkeys, he showed up right behind them. So the Hare laid his check, pulled out his whistle (which he always carries with him) and blew two times. The back of the Turkeys turn around and look, the Hare waving his arms, then r*nning away!
Balled Guy later said, (something like this anyway):
"We heard the whistle and turned back to see the hare. So we called up to the other turkeys 'Hey the hare is back here!' and they said 'go snare him!' and I said 'F*ck that!' So we just turned around and walked along trail."
Luckily for the Hare, his luck improved as the trail progressed and no further Hare Shit problems occurred.
All arrived safely at the finish and beer was enjoyed by all.

Other semi-notable points included:
The Great Elder Hash-man, Flying Booger, gave us a sermon to start circle.
Stick Me Anywhere and Asshole in El Paso were being a racist and received a flambongo down down. However, Stick Me was exempt after "Tits out for the boys" (they tried to race to the finish = racist)
Asshole in El Paso and Woodpecker received down downs for being FRB's
They also drank for not climbing down the tree the the Hare "so painstakingly pounded nails into" (Cum So Hard Me Die, Stick Me Anywhere and Gummee! did climb down)
Most of the Hash drinking during one down down because no-one could think of a note.
Baahberator attempted to call out Balled Guy for changing a check on trail into a boob check. We found out it was Baahberator who asked "Balled Guy, you have any chalk?" and proceeded to change the mark. Baahberator then took a flambongo for his treachery against Balled Guy.
Everyone, yes everyone, took a flambongo down down (some more than one)!

So there you are! The #2 R*nning of TWATH3 almost didn't happen, but was full of stories and FUN!

So if you wankers out there are saying "damn, I wish I was there." then get off your lazy butts and join us!